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LACKLAND, AFB, TEXAS Air Force officers' boot camp ... Took the eye test seven times, read 20-30 every time, and thus became a navigator.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELLINGTON AFB, TEXAS From the air, it looks like an insignificant chalk-mark on a steaming billiard table.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MATHER AFB, CALIFORNIA Navigators' trade school: Weak-eyes Polytech on the Sacramento .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STEAD AFB, NEVADA: (Survival School) Porcupines, chipmunks, and manzanita tea, push-ups and mickey-mouse. Pemican, blisters, and soggy sleeping bags; three shivering people in a little nylon house.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
McCONNELL AFB, KANSAS This is the B-47 Stratojet, the instructor said, otherwise known as the whistling outhouse, or the six-engined post-hole digger. The navigator's ejection seat goes DOWN instead of UP...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WALKER AFB, NEW MEXICO When the wind is East and the dust is brown, that's Texas blowing by ... But wind in the West with a yellow grit: Arizona's on the fly ..~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PEASE AFB, NEW HAMPSHIRE What do you folks do in the summertime? I asked. Well, he said, If it falls on Sunday, we have a picnic.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLATTSBURGH AFB, NEW YORK Cold and dry is better than cold and wet. Witness the sign over the door of the maintenance debriefing room: "PEASE IS OUR PROFESSION."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LORING AFB, MAINE Hell of a fine place, the guy said, if you have a chance, don't go.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOOSE BAY, LABRADOR Sort of like an island, or a ship... most of what's outside the fence is water, and the rest might as well be ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TORREJON AB, SPAIN: (La Siesta in Madrid) For three hours, one stands in a doorway, his head drenched, icy rain blowing around his knees, staring into barred windows across a deserted street ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ZARAGOZA AB, SPAIN They tell me the wind stopped blowing once ... Everybody fell over.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARAKESH BOMB RANGE, MOROCCO You can't miss it: it's three sand dunes north of the intersection of a camel trail and a gully.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPPER HEYFORD RAFB, UK Ceiling zero, visibility three yards ... but with "bright periods" around noon.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EIELSON AFB, ALASKA Figure a half-hour fuel reserve: it takes that long to get the moose off the runway ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YAKOTA AB, TOKYO, JAPAN The taxi driver turns around, leans over the back of the front seat, grins at us, flashing his one gold tooth, and yells: ME KAMIKAZE BOY, YOU HANG ON!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANDERSEN AFB, GUAM A swayback runway with five hundred feet of instant altitude and a lot of water just beyond the far end.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NORTH FIELD, GUAM Notice to Airmen: Runway slick, snails.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FORBES AFB, KANSAS Where some nice guys got the Distinguished Flying Cross in peacetime with Top Secret citations ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MALMSTROM AFB, NORTH DAKOTA I'd like to be here about a million years from now when some poor archaeologist tries to explain a Minuteman silo ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MINOT AFB, NORTH DAKOTA "You gonna re-enlist?" "Hell, no!" "Why not?" "Minot!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLLOMAN AFB, NEW MEXICO (Missile Development Center) A rocket track and a monkey farm, a think tank and a balloon ranch, radar scatter and Trinity site, all strewn across a frying pan between cardboard-cutout mountains.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DAVIS MONTHAN AFB, ARIZONA (The Bone-yard) You know you are getting old when your aluminum friends are here and nowhere else ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (Armed Forces Staff College) Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and who-knows-what ? Forty-eleven kinds of uniforms.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOMESTEAD AFB, FLORIDA (Sea Survival School, aka Splash School) An outdoor amusement park that features parasail rides, helicopter rescue parties, and trolling for sharks~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHAW AFB, SOUTH CAROLINA That EB-66 is a cute little airplane. Too bad the~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOCKBOURNE AFB, OHIO For sure, the C-123 Provider isn't a pretty machine,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CLARK AB, PHILIPPINES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAM RANH BAY AB, VIETNAM (Sandbox-by-the-Sea) A big tin barn stuffed with people of assorted races, sizes, shapes and ages, uniforms and faces ... all sleeping in the darndest places!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PHAN RANG AB, VIETNAM (Happy Valley) BOOKIE BIRDS (C-123) and HUNS (F-100) SHADOWS, STINGERS (AC-119) PEDROS (RH-43) and the fossilizing GOON (AC-47) No wonder the general called this place "Air Museum East"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SONG BE, VIETNAM The young copilot thought Phan Rang was the bung-hole of creation until he saw the cement culverts with sand bags at each end that passed for Visiting Officers' Quarters at Song Be ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KHE SANH, VIETNAM Where a bunch of Marines served as the bait in a better mousetrap.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAN SON NHUT AB, VIETNAM This traffic pattern has gotta be the most dangerous place this side of Hanoi ... Even if you do avoid a midair collision, you could still run out of gas, miss your DEROS, or starve.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAIGON, VIETNAM I heard that one GI actually crossed Tudo Street during rush hour without getting run over by a Honda.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DA NANG AB, VIETNAM Nice climate here. It automatically produces the best instrument pilots west of San Francisco, and then sends them home with a sun-tan like the underside of a frog.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BINH THUY AB, VIETNAM FNG: "Why do all those helicopters fly around all the time?" SHORT: "Cause there ain't enough room to land 'em all at once."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAHKLI AB, THAILAND Where the Base Exchange sets sales records in flashlights ... because of the cobras.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KHORAT AB, THAILAND Several guys said it was the Chaplain who started that rumor about venereal leprosy ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANDREWS AFB, MARYLAND (Headquarters, Systems Command) From the top, this building looks like half a pizza pie, and the Command logo looks like six paths to the outhouse ...What am I doing HERE?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WASHINGTON, DC Looks like it might be a nice place, if they ever got it finished ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE PENTAGON (arrival) If somebody doesn't turn off the Xerox machines this five-sided wastepaper basket is gonna explode and scatter confetti over three or four states.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE PENTAGON (departure) This is the assignment that REALLY turns boys into men ... old men.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEFENSE INDUSTRIAL SUPPLY CENTER PHILADELPHIA What a pleasant surprise! Some government employees, without uniforms, who know the meaning of "civil" and "service" ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PHILADELPHIA, PA City of brotherly love, and other perversions ... pot-hole capitol of the known universe, with third-generation car-thieves ... If these drivers see a car with four fenders, they go after it, for the insurance ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEMPLE HILLS, MARYLAND (Retirement from the Air Force) Yes, you really ought to retire in Maryland. Why? Because of the license plates: "Maryland is for crabs" |
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